Everything is Everything

What is meant to be, will be

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I'm trying to work my way through school so I can get a job that doesn't suck and support my kids. I'm not doing so well.

I changed my major and I know I can do this programming work, but I get crippling anxiety and just can't do anything else. It's hard because I don't want to fail and I've got so many things working against me.

It would really help if I had some kind of support circle, like someone to help with the kids so I can do schoolwork, or clean the house, or sleep or shower. But no. (I have some help, but only a few hours at a time, never in the evenings or weekends) I'd also like to live in a place that isn't falling apart. Where I can lock the kitchen door to keep kids out of my fridge and from breaking all of my eggs.

I've done NO writing in the past few months, other than a little RP, which I don't really have time for. I also haven't done much pampering stuff and when I do I feel guilty for spending the money since I have close to none.

Oh well. It's not forever, right?

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