daisy

Everything is Everything

What is meant to be, will be

(no subject)
daisy
nikcool
So...

I'm still angry. Angry and hurt, and ready to move on with my life. I'm not sure if that's a horrible thing to say or not, but the more I think about the situation, the worse I feel.

I think everyone still thinks him to be a good guy, but I can't anymore. I think about what happened, and my history, and I get MAD. I think back to how things were before it all fell apart and I get even madder! Mostly at myself.

I've got these kids to take care of, and a house to keep in order, so I can't let myself get depressed again. I really just want to move somewhere and disappear... a fresh start.

I'm wondering what he's telling everyone, and if I should delete our joint friends from my facebook. I wonder if I should delete his family. They did help out last year, but everything dropped off after that. My family has been awesome, but I wait for the day that they stop helping. I'm stressing about stuff so much I can't concentrate in my classes.

And if anyone wants to know what happened, I will talk privately. I don't know how he expects me not to tell anyone.

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daisy
nikcool
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(no subject)
daisy
nikcool
Lack of meaningful rp, lack of online friends and conversations and real life have pretty much killed my internet addiction :/

(no subject)
daisy
nikcool
My grandfather has stopped treatment, and is off of everything now.  It's only a matter of time.  Dammnit.  I can't even get out to see him one last time.

Also, the electric is out, and they'll have to tear the walls up to fix it.  The walls I remember my Grandfather putting up.  Everything seems to remind me of him, and I miss him already.  I just want my grandfather home and healthy and that won't happen.

(no subject)
daisy
nikcool
My grandfather is in icu and on a breathing machine :(

(no subject)
daisy
nikcool
I'm getting too stressed out, and am tired of trying to be perfect.  Also, I want to be treated like an adult! 

I can't keep this place kept up perfectly with two kids under two, and I'm supposed to be fully unpacked in just a few weeks?  Argh.

The icing on the cake? I hope this is it, anyway
daisy
nikcool
So, this morning, my eyeglasses snapped in half.  There is no way I can fix them, and we really can't afford another pair at the crazy prices the stores charge.  (I have a high prescription, so even online retailers charge me extra).

We can't pay rent, the baby is due any day, and there's no way we can afford to do anything for Christmas.  All of this because I can't work right now.

Also, Gigi has a cold or something and I hate when she's sick :(  I just want her to smile and laugh at me.

In good news?  It's finally cold outside which means I'm finally comfortable.  The summer/fall months were torture this year.

(no subject)
daisy
nikcool
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just complaining
daisy
nikcool
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(no subject)
daisy
nikcool
So Jim heard from the real estate agent, who told us to get preapproved first, then said that she wasn't sure about the condition of the house and that it might be hard to get a VA loan for.

That's not meant to be discouraging, is it?  Because it seems like it.

?

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